For those of you that I know and love, you will be aware that
I am not one to shy away from being affectionate. I am a tactile person, and
hugs, kisses (and by kisses I mean chaste ones on lips, cheeks and foreheads) and hand holding/arm linking, are not things
that phase me. I don´t care if you sit right next to me, hell you can sit on my
knee if you want to, it doesn´t matter to me. I know you, I care about you and
I am happy you are in my life, and unless I am already sleeping with you, these
tactile displays don´t have any hidden meaning or subtext and are just me being myself!
However, it isn´t the same when I don´t know someone. The
British, are very good at keeping a respectful distance around people they don´t
know. Handshakes are about as close as it gets regarding contact. Perhaps its
because Britain is a small, overpopulated island, I don´t know. I personally
have an invisible barrier of around one to four square feet all around me with
people I am unfamiliar with. If people breach that barrier I get uncomfortable,
but then I think most of us do.
I think I first noticed that not all cultures are the same
as Britain when it comes to personal space when I travelled to Tunisia. I was
about 13 at the time and it was a bit of a shock. Tourism in Tunisia at the
time still wasn´t very big and was mostly dominated by the French, so being 13,
with strawberry blonde hair and green eyes, its fair to say I stuck out a bit.
I understand that the store owners in the markets were doing it to get you to
come and look at their wares, I understand that this is how they attract
custom, but at 13 it was quite intimidating having your hand grabbed at and
people coming very close to you. I´ve also been to Turkey and Pakistan where
the lack of awareness of personal space is noticeable, to be honest to some
extent I expected it in these countries. I did not expect to encounter it in
Norway.
I moved to Norway in the middle of a very cold winter, so didn´t
really notice it at first, you actually don´t mind it when people stand/sit too
close as any warmth is appreciated! It was only when I started going to classes
in the gym that it became apparent. I like to have my space in gym classes,
mainly because I´m not exactly coordinated and can be a little bit clumsy so
don´t really want to stand on anyones toe, or hit them in the face when I´m
doing Zumba. But I would notice how others in the class were not so aware of
this. They would come and stand within an arms length, or the danger zone as I
like to call it, and as the class progressed would get closer to me without
being phased at all by the fact that they were doing so. Being worried about my
flailing arm breaking their nose, I tend to move, but the Norwegians don´t
really seem to notice just how close they are to you. It isn´t just Zumba, its
Body Pump when someone comes and puts their step right next to yours so you´ll
be lucky to have enough room to lunge or Shape when your yoga mats are almost
touching.
They´re examples of the gym, but in queues people are so
close they may as well be standing on your heels, anyone would think you were
on a London tube at rush hour. The same can be said in the parks, all this
space and someone comes and sits right next to you! Its almost as if they need
proximity to others.
I think I find this most surprising because not only is
Norway a western country, where people tend to be more aware of personal space,
but its also a big country, 324220 km2 with a small population of
just under 5 million, so about 15 people per km2. Compare this to
Great Britain, where the population of 62 million is crammed into a 244820 km2
area, in other words 255 people per km2. Yes, I know populations in
Norway are concentrated in towns around the coast, and I know that large areas
of the interior are barely populated; but I am still surprised by their
seemingly lack of awareness of personal space, I guess I expected them to be
more British.
My Norwegian friends and colleagues are the nicest,
friendliest group of people I could hope to meet. I have always felt very
welcome here. This is just an observation of the difference in culture. A
British friend of mine who has been here longer than myself, tried to explain
this to me by saying that she thinks its to do with “the lack of interest Norwegians
have in what strangers do”. This is not a bad thing, it means that you don´t
have nosey neighbours twitching their curtains to see what’s going on in their
street, and gossip, particularly malicious gossip, about colleagues and friends
is unheard of, and believe me that makes a refreshing positive change to living
in the UK. It also means that they have decided that that is where they are
going to stand/sit/Zumba/occupy space, and they don´t really care how close
they are to anyone else!
So I guess I have to get used to it, stop being so British
and recognise that whilst my personal space bubble may have to decrease in size
whilst I´m here, I don´t have to listen to anyone badmouthing anyone else. And
if that’s the compromise I have to make, its definitely one I can live with.
Photo credits:
Cyanide and Happiness http://www.explosm.net/comics/940/
The law of personal space http://www.foundthemarbles.com/2012/02/personal-space/
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